Podcast footnotes #1

On how to tackle issues with kids & their screentime habits….

Mel: "It starts with you. The more you’re on your phone, the more your kids are. And if you feel your kid’s behavior is out of control, guess what – so is yours. But the good news is, the more balance and boundaries you have, the more present you are, and the more your kids become. For example, in our house if we’re sitting down to dinner, it’s no phones – not on your body, not on the table. And it has changed our life.

Opinion - This is the elephant in the room so many of us are choosing to ignore. It’s rarely raised or discussed because it is awkward. It needs more transparency from a non-judgy perspective
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On the reality of the situation and how heavily tech is integrated into our lives….

Kara: "Doomscrolling is rather enjoyable, in some fashion..."

Mel: "Well, that’s why we do it. The research is very clear – it’s a lot like pulling a slot machine lever. There’s a seductive, trance-like quality to it. Another reason is because all day long we feel like our time and energy have been hijacked, so when you get home and plop on the couch, there’s this ‘f*ck you’ moment where you’re like, I’m gonna take back my life by spending three hours doing nothing. We all do it."

Opinion - what comes up must come down / for every action there is a reaction - this is a trade off which we all choose to do and justify doing every time we find ourselves doomscrolling. Deciding to do it is not necessarily bad but we do need to be aware of its addictive nature and 2nd order effects on our overall wellbeing. Awareness is a solid place to start

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On a cool “trick” to start building better digital balance in our lives…

Mel: "Here’s a great way to start: the next time you’re standing in line, don’t reach for your phone. It’s just three lousy minutes. Feel the tension and don’t grab your phone. Just stand there, take a deep breath, and be in the moment. You’re creating a little pocket of peace and presence instead of feeding the lie that you need to be constantly attached to everything."

Opinion: small but important steps can lead to big and important change

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On the addictive nature of mobile phone content and what to do about it…

Kara: "Some might argue all this phone use is addictive..."

Mel: "It is, absolutely. But, you know, cocaine’s addictive – I don’t sleep next to an eight-ball. (Not in your Lamborghini?) No. I’m being punchy, but stop blaming the phone and recognize that the phone is a tool. What’s on it is addictive, but if you know it’s addictive, then adjust your behavior so you’re not the tool."

Opinion - if we frame it as an addictive product we can apply best practices to learn to deal with it. If we choose not to recognise it as such we are not giving ourselves a chance which effects our digital wellbeing and those around us (including our kids)